Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Yesterday & Today: Week 13

The final week of this brilliant class.  Ali's suggestion was to decide which week had been your favourite and create another LO using the same principles.  I chose week 4, the week which dealt with how to tell those difficult or emotional stories that we all have.  In week 4, I created a DLO about my brush with breast cancer.  In week 13, I've created a single page about the unkind comment my Gran made when she knew that I would have to wear glasses.
That memory is a story that I have long wanted to get down on a page; I just didn't know how to go about it.  There was also a sense of disloyalty to my Gran.  I believe that she loved me, but I also believe that she found it almost impossible to show her love.  Or at least, she did with me.  It saddens me that I don't have any memories of my Gran where she was openly loving and demonstrative towards me.  She always compared me to my sister and cousin, and it was always unfavourable.  You know, I used to blame my sister for that, as if she had somehow engineered it, but, as she pointed out to me fairly recently, it wasn't her fault that Gran behaved that way.
And talking to my Auntie, who was also the recipient of unkind and cruel words, last month helped to clear some stuff up.  We came to the conclusion that Gran didn't always mean to be unkind, although sometimes she did mean it.  She just didn't know any other way to be. 
And technically, this means that the Yesterday & Today class is complete.  But I know that this isn't the case, because I shall be adding pages to the album as I remember family stories or memories that I want to document.

10 comments:

Beverly said...

If only could truly understand how painfl and scarring their words can be. I really think some people are oblivious to thatpower. I'm glad you have been able to sort through some of this unkindness from your Gran. It was her loss if she didn't realize what a truly wonderful woman you were/are.

Kirsty.a said...

That's sad. I was lucky to have wonderful grandparents who unfailingly saw the best in me , even when my mum didn't. My Nan is now the most loving of great greatmothers. It's a special relationship - I'm sorry you didn't have that

Karen said...

Beatitul, heartfelt post Ruth. I can emphasise with you as my mum often says things that I feel are very unkind and hurtful. I now know that it is not to make me feel bad but to make my sister feel better and she would rather hurt my feelings than hurt my sister's. I can cope with it because I am a glass half full girl and mum and my sister are a glass half empty - I know which I would rather be!

Karen said...

Opps I should read my comments before I press submit I should have said empathise rather than emphasise!

Rhona said...

I imagine this wasn't the easiest of layouts or posts to write but hopefully talking about it and putting it down on paper has helped. Because we moved from Scotland to South Africa when I was 3, I never knew my grandparents and only met my maternal grandmother a couple of times when I came over to the UK at 22 but I didn't have any connection with her and she didn't really know me either. I'm still glad I got to meet her as she passed away the following year. xx

Kimberlee said...

It is great that you were able to tackle those difficult subjects in your layouts.

I have the same grandma. It is so hard because mine is 91 and I want to spend whatever time I can with her, but she makes it difficult, and I end up getting frustrated with her. It is hard.

Hugs to you!

Amy said...

Ruth, I have thoroughly enjoyed this class through your eyes :-) I love how you have had the opportunity to journal such a wide variety of topics and you have inspired me to get more of thos sorts of pages into my albums.

Sian said...

Not an easy post, I know - but wow, look how far you have come!! You posted pictures of yourself in those glasses! And yes I did have some very similar looking ones..

Deb @ PaperTurtle said...

A tough subject to document, but I'm proud of you for doing so, Ruth! I think we've all had someone in our lives similar to your grandmother. And it's a shame that those people are in our lives for some sort of personal lesson for us. :o\ At any rate, I'm proud of you for rising above it and putting the story down in print. xo

humel said...

Oh Ruth, I'm sorry to hear about this sadness from your past, but this is a great way to deal with it and move on xx

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