Friday, 20 September 2013

Comparing Notes

Firstly, I want to thank those of you who took the time to leave such positive and encouraging comments in relation to Wednesday's post.
There is another child at The Boy Child's school who has Autism and has a Statement of Educational Needs.  I met with his mum this morning and she shared her experiences with me, gave me some great advice and loaned me a book she considered essential reading.
Onwards and upwards, eh?
As for The Boy Child, he said he got eight out of ten in his spellings and did well in his times tables.  I have to believe him because I have no evidence of either of these facts. His new teacher is not as forthcoming as his last.
However, I took him at his word and treated him to supper at London's Best Pizzeria.
And what of his promise that he would do his writing homework after supper (three pages of reading done before we went)?  
Didn't happen.
I was told that he hated me.
I was told that I was horrid.
He cried.
He has no access to the iPad all weekend.
Onwards and upwards, eh?

8 comments:

Amy said...

Ruth, I am so glad you have been able to catch up with another parent going through a similar experience - it is so helpful to have that support.

Can I let you know what has worked well for us?
We have set up specific homework times that are agreed upon,eg, Mon, Tues and Weds at 5pm is homework time. That's changing next term due to after school things, but essentially it will stay the same.
During this time I make sure that there are no distractions and I am completely available for any questions. I also limit the time spent on the activity and we talk about how we are going to approach the work - see the big picture first and then break it down into small chunks. My boy wants to know the purpose of the task and gets frustrated with meaningless repetitious tasks. Hello times tables!I don't think times tables are meaningless but the rote learning can be a chore. By the way, we sing and chant and bang out drum beats to those! Yes, it is a crazy, crazy time!

If the teacher is less forthcoming it might mean you have to approach her more regularly - keep her in the loop of what is happening at home and what you are expecting at school.
And, Friday nights are off limits - we have movie night, go swimming in the summer and completely chill out ... nothing to do with school at all.

Have a great weekend Ruth - the first few weeks back at school are challenging and a big adjustment.

Deb @ Paper Turtle said...

I'm so glad that you've found another parent to share your experiences with, Ruth, and I'm sorry to hear that your boy is giving you just a little grief. It must be so frustrating for all of you. I love Amy's suggestions on homework!

helena said...

Ruth sending a big hug. Having watched my sister with her dispractic son i know how hard homework can be for all involved. So glad you have another mum to compare notes with

Ladkyis said...

OK He said he hated you - translated this means "thank you Mummy for giving me the self confidence to challenge you.
He said you are horrid - Yup, all mother's are horrid, it's the second rule of motherhood*.
He cried - that's when you know you've won that battle because it is always the last resort
He has no access to iPad - well done for not backing down. Good Mummy
onward and upward - yes! don't look back and over think it. just remember the rules of motherhood
1. You are not allowed to hit mothers
2. All mothers are horrid but rule one still applies.
3. no matter what you do your mother will still love you.
Actually his behaviour is typical of a child that is totally secure in his life and is just testing boundaries. You are giving him a great start in life.

scrappyjacky said...

Some great ideas from Amy....and I really do agree that there should be some homework free nights....nights just for doing what TBC wants to do.....he might even then be more prepared to do homework on the other nights.
Setting up a reward system might also help.

Alison said...

Just catching up, Ruth ..there's not really much I can add, except that I agree that you should talk to TBC 's teacher so that at least she knows what's going on...homework should be banned for little ones(except for reading..and I don't mean Pat Pig!)..onward and upward indeed!
Hugs
Alison xx

Karen said...

What fabulous advice from Amy. I have lost count of the times Gracia said she hated me, I was the worst mum in the world and that everyone else's mum is so much better.

I so admire you for sticking to your guns and removing ipad time. All children need to know acceptable behavior.

You are doing such a good job with TBC x

Kirsty.A said...

I am in full agreement with all the above comments. But actually you had done spellings, readinG and tables?? 3/4 is certainly not bad going. Don't give up.