Friday, 7 August 2015

Five Ways to Know You're a Londoner

Last month saw me living in London for a decade.  By living in London, I mean having a London postcode in my address.  {I've now lived in this house longer than I have ever lived anywhere.}
Some of the following five points should be read with your tongue firmly in your cheek.
1 | When a tourist flaps a map in your face asks how to get from Tottenham Court Road to Harrods, you calmly point them in the direction of the #10 bus.  You add that if they'd prefer, they could take the Victoria line from Oxford Circus (because the station at TCR is worth avoiding due to Crossrail works), changing at Green Park for the Piccadilly line, westbound to Knightsbridge.  All without looking at a map.  You say, "You're welcome!" when they forget to thank you.
2 | You know where to stand on the underground platform at busy times.  Go to either end of the platform; do not stand in the middle of the platform.  That's for tourists.  Also, remember that the Tube always has room for one more.  No matter how full the carriage looks.  In addition, if travelling to Heathrow, do not keep your suitcase at your feet.  You will seriously annoy other travellers, not to mention take up valuable space.  Leave your suitcase in the recesses near the door and keep an eye on it.  
3 | You don't bat an eyelid when charged £5 for a mediocre slice of cake in a cafe that on closer inspection, turned out to be rather grubby.
4 |  You hear yourself saying, "£500K for a studio apartment?  What's wrong with it?"  And you're not being ironic.
5 |  Your friendship group, and those of your child/ren, is made of any number of nationalities and faiths.  Which you only notice when someone points it out to you and your child/ren never notice/s.


Ladkyis said...

I love that last picture! How did you get them to stand still? I think the last point is pretty true of everywhere these days. My granddaughter goes to a faith school that has at least one child from every east european country and also from several African countries, some asian countries as well as the usual smattering of English, Irish and Scots all added into the indigenous Welsh.

Oh and there are at least three french children too. Miss Boo goes there because it is literally across the road from our house not because of any religious reasons.
~did I need to say that last bit? yes, because I am not a believer and have come to that after many years of thinking hard but we will let Miss Boo find her own way

Missus Wookie said...

Great list and that last photo is lovely.

I was doing that directing without looking at a map on Thursday - harder without the tube. I've now lived in London longer than anywhere else in my life.

Sian said...

Good list. We're lucky that no 5 holds true here too. Now, if only we had an underground..

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